Being Popular, Once Achieved Most Say It Is Worth It

January 19, 2023,

It is something that most of us wanted to be.

In Junior High School.

High School.

Life in general.

It is great to be popular. Be desirable. Be someone people want to hang out with.

That desire never seems to go away, even as we enter adulthood.

Once it was television movies and sitcoms with publications like Tiger Beat and the tabloids to give you the inside scoop on your popular dream stars, now it seems to be based more upon the Social Media.

Hollywood depicts this so well.

Ingrid Goes West is a 2017 American comedy drama film starring Aubrey Plaza, Elizabeth Olsen, Billy Magnussen, Wyatt Russell, Pom Klementieff, and O’Shea Jackson Jr., and follows a young woman who moves to Los Angeles in an effort to befriend her Instagram idol.

The film received positive reviews, with many praising the script, dark themes, humor, and performances.

Here is the storyline.

Ingrid Thorburn is a mentally unstable young woman in Pennsylvania.

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After crashing the wedding of Instagram influencer Charlotte Buckwald and pepper spraying her, Ingrid checks in to a recovery facility where she “writes” to Charlotte as if she knows her when, in reality, Charlotte commented on one of her pictures once and Ingrid has no way of getting letters to Charlotte.

Did she learn her lesson? Was she rehabilitated?

After being released, Ingrid learns of a social media influencer named Taylor Sloane from a magazine article. She rents a house in Venice from Dan Pinto, an aspiring screenwriter, and gets a makeover in her style with money inherited from her recently deceased mother.

She travels to Southern California to be with her.

Literally.

We thoroughly enjoyed this film from two angles.

Both parties have a popularity issue.

The Social Media Star Taylor would say she is performing to make money. Which is true. We couldn’t help but feel that she really loved being the “It Girl” and adored the popularity aspect.

Ingrid’s issue appears to be simple.

She wants to be in the circle of those who are popular.

It appears for some, high school never goes away.

You and we are above that, right? You know what?

Many of us, young or older, are not.

The team at Psychology Today express, “Among young kids, likability is the primary measure of popularity. Likability is predicted by friendliness. As we grow into adolescence, popularity becomes a mix of two dimensions: likability and status.”

We would take it a step further and say, yes we want to be liked, have respected status but, in our experience, mostly we want to be desired.

Don’t you want that?

As you walk down a main street, how do you feel if, people you find attractive, can’t seem to stop looking at you?

It is a powerful feeling.

Back to the movies.

Some Kind of Wonderful is a 1987 American romantic drama film starring Eric Stoltz, Mary Stuart Masterson, and Lea Thompson. It is one of several successful teen dramas written by John Hughes in the 1980s.

Here is the storyline.

The film is set against the strict social hierarchy of an American public high school in the San Fernando Valley.

Talk about status issues.

Blue-collar mechanic and aspiring artist Keith Nelson is best friends with tomboy drummer Watts. Keith’s father is obsessed with sending him to college for business, as he would be the first in their family to go.

Very understandable.

Keith is enamored with Amanda Jones, one of the most popular girls in school, and he spends much of his time drawing her.

It’s about to get complicated.

She is dating Hardy Jenns, a spoiled and selfish boy from a wealthy neighborhood.

Financial and social status.

However, Amanda herself is not wealthy.

She actually lives in the same working-class district as Watts and Keith, and she borrows her fashionable clothes from her friends. Hardy treats Amanda as his “property” while also fooling around with another girl. Watts is dismissive of Keith’s crush, saying that he and Amanda are too different.

And so the story goes.

What we liked about the film is how it addressed popularity from two converging and friction rich environments. It also showed how popularity, like the wind, is so hard and impossible to hold on to.

Were you popular when you were in high school?

We have a friend in our circle who was initially not popular but changed his look to fit in with the tougher kids and was shocked how the girls suddenly became attracted to him. Especially the freshmen and sophomores who did not know his loser past.

To this day he says it was the best time of his life.

He also expressed something hard to forget.

Once he began to get older, became more professional and conservative, marrying and having children, he went through strong withdrawal symptoms and deep depression because women were not as attracted to him as they used to be.

We asked him a question?

Was it worth it? Is it better to stay average and not have to experience the post popularity depression or was being popular for one year worth it?

He replied, “There is nothing I have ever experienced like being popular. Nothing. I would do it all over again”.

Do you feel the same way? Many do.

Why do you think teen movies and TV series are so popular?

Like the original Gossip Girl.

How can you become more popular as an adult? From a female friend’s point of view, become more attractive.

You can have all of the status you want as an adult and be well-liked as well, but if the people you are attracted to are not attracted to you in a romantic way, it can be depressing.

You absolutely want to leave the friend zone.

How?

Start working out at the gym. Perhaps change your style and purchase more fashionable clothing.

You will surprised, shallow as it seems, how that actually seems to matter.

Too, become more knowledgeable so you have more to casually converse about. Appear to be very interested when people talk about themselves. Ask them questions about their interests, hobbies and passion.

You might be rewarded for your efforts.

It is our view, whether we are young or older, we all like to be more popular and attractive.

Do you really believe the Kardashians are just doing it for the money?

Life is short and in a planet filled with billions, we still want to stand out. Be relevant.

Be attractive. Be popular.

Keep working at it.